Tragic's Wake

The Blue Memory Meme, Part Two — This is (apparently) a part two from last week so I’ll try to keep it short, just the same

26) Are you happy with the person you’ve become?
Sometimes, yes. Other times: not so much. I am perfectly happy with everything about myself except the fact that I’m still suffering low self esteem and a decided lack of self confidence. It’s not even really “me” that’s doing it, I just have some serious issues with stress and anxiety disorder..

27) What’s a sound you hate; sound you love?
I hate repetitive tapping or tinkling. It drives me over the edge of rage no matter how quiet it is. A sound I actually love is the little groaning burbling sound that my coffee perc makes. It’s like the little beast is so happy to make my coffee that it’s purring contentedly to itself, I always think of that sound and feel sad whenever I need to retire an old machine to get a new one..

28) What’s your biggest “what if”?
What if I had left this province when I was nineteen? What if I hadn’t even come back when I was fifteen? Where would I be today? What would I have accomplished? Would I even still be alive? Would I really care?

29) Do you believe in ghosts?
Yes, I absolutely 100% do. If I were to explain it then I’d look insane and maybe I actually am but I have no fear of death when my time comes, I know what’s waiting and I’m okay with that.

30) How about aliens?
Again yes, for pretty much the same reasons as the question above this one except for the death part. If we truly believe that we’re the only life in the vast cosmos then we’re the idiots, plain and simple.

31) What is the single best decision you have made in your life so far?
To walk away from the abusers, family or otherwise.

32) What’s the worst place you have ever been to?
The worst physical location? Prince Edward Island, without shadow of a doubt. I thought it was a vast ugly field of mud and crops, the people that I encountered were mean and judgmental, and the religious fervour was like nothing I have ever witnessed. People over there aren’t content with just a big plastic Jesus on their lawn, these folks erect full sized billboards of fire and brimstone hatred right on the edge of their driveways.. Emotionally, it’s a place which is so dark it makes my soul bleed just to remember it but it haunts me every single day and my biggest internal battle is to keep it down and swallow the memory as best I can and just keep driving..

33) Can insanity bring on more creativity?
Indeed, I think it can. Some of my favourite writers and painters were certifiably batshit insane. I’m more creative when I’m at the bottom of a depressive pit. Watch my art and writings, usually the most colourful and detailed work comes when I’m six feet from the edge..

34) Most attractive actor of your opposite gender?
Johnny Depp, bar none. I’ve been in lust with that man since I was twelve years old and since he ages with me, I don’t see an end anytime soon..

35) To you, what is the meaning of life?
One foot in front of the other, be excellent to each other, and whatever it takes to get you through the night.

36) Define “Art”.
A creative work using any form of media which emotionally moves one in some way, good or bad. When I draw a picture, I’ve just drawn a picture; when I’ve made art, I’ve bled my very soul into the piece. Some of my art may be just a picture to some people but there is someone out there somewhere who felt it and knows exactly what I meant.

37) Do you believe in luck?
I believe that certain factors can collide creating fertile ground for opportune experiences.

38) In your opinion, what makes a great relationship?
Honesty, even when it hurts. A lie is an emotional ripoff to everyone involved.

39) What’s a song that always makes you happy when you hear it?

40) Where were you yesterday?
Walmart, McAllister Place, Value Village, everyfuckingwhere!

41) What’s the worst injury you’ve ever had?
Does it count if the injury was a chronic disease and it’s the aftereffects of having most of my guts ripped out and tossed aside only to have my entire life change forever? No? Ok how about the time I broke my ankle while dancing and got an eight inch tear down across my entire shoulder blade when I fell and broke the giant hardwood speaker on the floor? That was pretty fucking bad.

42) Do you have any obsessions right now?
Whatever gets me through the night.

43) What’s up?
Everything that you totally don’t have time or psychic energy to even read.

44) Ever had a rumor spread about you?
Oh sweet baby Jesus on a flatbed, you know it, dude. I think the funniest one was started by my older stepsister who always had a serious hate on for me. She told our family that she came to my city searching for me and didn’t find me but discovered that I was a heroin addicted, crack smoking prostitute/stripper living in squalor.

45) Do you believe in real magic?
I think I must, or else I’d go completely insane. The rest of the world makes so little sense, more each day it seems that the idea of magic isn’t so crazy at all, it’s rather grounding when all else fails.

46) Do you ever hold grudges against people who have done you wrong?
Yes. I may not show it but I absolutely never ever forget. I may not actively try to damage the individual but I will take great pleasure in their failures, as I’m sure they do mine. Am I a bitter old bitch? Yes indeed, and absolutely unapologetic.

47) What’s your favorite (non-pet) animal?
Crows. Not “ravens” though I do love them, I’m talking ordinary, garden variety, plain old crows.

48) What is your secret weapon to get people to like you?
I’m just who I am, they either love me or hate me, it’s not my decision to make.

49) Where is your best friend?
She went far away, to a land of hope and dreams, away from this shithole valley of lost souls.. Poor thing is reportedly coming back soon too. I hate her for leaving, I envy her for escaping.

50) What do you think is Satan’s last name?
Dude, he’s like Madonna or Cher, there is totally no last name necessary, he’s simply a man of wealth and taste.

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