Tragic's Wake

And so we bring the year to an uncomfortable close. It’s been rather dull by many folks’ standards but for me, it’s the first year of the rest of my life. I suppose I’m obligated to be grateful, that all remains to be seen..

The worst part of October is pumpkin f*king overkill. Every single recipe showcased anywhere is bloody pumpkin, every snack or treat conceivable is damn pumpkin. After showering with pumpkin soap, washing my hair with pumpkin damn essence of dead halloween past and applying pumpkin jack’s goddamn beauty routine to my damn face; I do not want pumpkin bloody berry damn nutmeg muffins with my pumpkin freakin’ creamed asshole mashed latte and no, I do not want oven toasted sweet & sour effing pumpkin seeds on the damn side!

I keep looking in the mirror and getting overwhelmed with temptation to start chopping but it’s just being awkward right now. Probably by xmas it’ll be more tolerable. I so hate long hair on me though..

What the hell is with me wanting to make coffee after the day is almost over? And why the hell can’t I find a decent icon set for the theme I want to make? Also: where are my goddamn pants?!

I was conflicted throughout the Occupy movement but never moreso as with the adoption of those idiot masks. Maybe my history books were different than everyone else’s..

Why have the “opressed” adopted Guy Fawkes as their personal patron saint? I’m not being a dick, I really want to know. From the stuff I’ve read about him, he was actually counterpoint to everything the underdogs actually want to achieve. I mean c’mon, dude wanted to destroy all government and impose an ultra conservative theocracy ffs. How is that a hero for today’s atmosphere? Aside from that dumb movie, how is this guy at all a hero? He’s everything these people are actually fighting against, essentially the original tea party asshole.. WTF? Please explain?

I went all grammar police too, understandably:

Mrrrrrrfffffpphhhh! This “could of” “should of” “would of” crap: STOP IT! It’s wrong and you look stupid. Of what? –COULD OF has no sensible grammatical meaning…. (ie. an ADVERB describing a PREPOSITION) –COULD HAVE is an adverb describing the verb (HAVE) which follows it; this has a sensible grammatical meaning. It’s “have” is that so hard? Could HAVE, should HAVE, would HAVE!

Occupy started to make more sense to me even though I still thought the whole tent thing was a bit less than productive:

An apt explanation that fits the 99%: “… as all history informs us, there has been in every State & Kingdom a constant kind of warfare between the governing & governed: the one striving to obtain more for its support, and the other to pay less. And this has alone occasioned great convulsions, actual civil wars, ending either in dethroning of the Princes, or enslaving of the people. Generally indeed the ruling power carries its point, the revenues of princes constantly increasing, and we see that they are never satisfied, but always in want of more. The more the people are discontented with the oppression of taxes; the greater need the prince has of money to distribute among his partisans and pay the troops that are to suppress all resistance, and enable him to plunder at pleasure. There is scarce a king in a hundred who would not, if he could, follow the example of Pharaoh, get first all the peoples money, then all their lands, and then make them and their children servants for ever …” –Benjamin Franklin, before the Constitutional Convention, (June 2, 1787)

And in matters personal, my sunshiny demeanour never wavered:

…because its awesome when I’m the bad guy just because you’re in bed with the other guy, really. Even if I’m right, I’m somehow wrong because it made you feel a bit silly under your idol of the day. Whatfuckingever. Options were offered; offer was ignored: bad info was transferred. Not my fault. Screw it.

Oh, and I grew boobs. That was pretty great. I also took out a hit on ‘old wives tales’ pretty hard..

Old wives tales and the people who “share” them are hilarious! No offence to anyone but sliced onions in your socks won’t cure a cold, you won’t strangle your baby if you raise your arms when you’re pregnant and putting period blood in your date’s wine will most certainly NOT make him love you forever! LMFAO!

Never forsake the party face though, grrl rule numero uno.

So I should be cleaning up a bit but I don’t feel like it, my sister knows I suck at organization.. I’ve gotta start making the spaghetti sauce, and then it’s on to youtube where I must find tutorials for the perfect hair/makeup for the party tomorrow night ♥

And I guess my “morning after” never changes even as I grow old and tired:

I searched the whole house for my keys earlier but I laughed like and idiot once I found them.. It seems that on Saturday night I had a regression back to my younger days; when I took off my stockings, I dropped my keys in them, rolled them up then put them on the kitchen counter.

I stepped on my leg, Shawna broke Tommy’s leg and I might have puked on my shoe. G’nite!

Thank the cosmos for Andrew or I’d be a total write-off today. Also: coffee. Elixir of renewel sent straight from the Gods to my blood stream. A special thanks today to the makers of Tylenol, Alka Seltzer, Aleve and Advil. Without all of these things … I just can’t even :-/

November 2011:

OK, I know I can be a negative person and I know I irritate the living shit out of people with my statuses and posting, so be it, it’s who I am but straight up: I’m not going to jump down your throat if you disagree, I’m not going to burn your house down if I think you’re wrong and if I don’t like shit that YOU post, I’m just going to silence you in my feed until the noise passes. Its that simple. As long as I get the same respect: I give it. Ignore me or unfriend me: fine, but keep the drama BS to a minimum and think before you spout off. Thanks. [...] Oh, o-oh! Look, did ya see it? That was all the fucks I give… *poof* oops sorry, it seems my giveafuck box is actually empty!

Trying to go to the bathroom while wearing a swimsuit is like trying to have intercourse with a hairy mammoth, through your forehead.

“You don’t like Lady gaga because you’re old and you don’t get her!” “No, I got her just fine thirty years ago when she was original and edgy and called Madonna.”

I’m serious, when I chat with AI, especially Cleverbot, I’m really nice. I’m afraid to be mean because when robots finally achieve full sentience and robot apocalypse begins I think Cleverbot will be connected to them all and he’ll tell them that I was an asshole and they’ll cook me or something. I’d just rather not take any chances..

I’m not very good at humbly and gracefully accepting birthday wishes so I have no idea how to respond to all of you without becoming a sobbing fool This birthday very nearly almost wasn’t. Thanks to ALL of you for your wonderful heartfelt wishes and special thanks to my Dr Cory Gillis and Dr Joanne Attard for making it possible for me to be an emo mess today ♥

Yikes, all I’ve been doing is eating and eating! Okaaay, it’s time to start some kinda routine or something. I like my recently grown curves but I totally don’t want or need them to get out of control, it’s only a curve until it’s smothering the cat and then it’s a Cannibal tribe’s buffet!

Pagans are very giving: we allow those of other paths to borrow and enjoy our holidays and our festivals, we allow them to share our decorations and feasts, we treat them as we would like to be treated ourselves. They only thing that many of us ask is that you not force us to use your terms for our pageantry. Call it whatever you wish if that’s what comforts you but please do not force us to adopt your terms for our own festivities. Thank you kindly for your respect and understanding.

December 2011:
Think Pink.

I’m just old enough, and I’ve totally (somehow) lived through juuuust enough.. I think I’ve earned my right to be completely incorrigibly batshit insane. I have commentary for this but I’m too hyper to bother. I’ll blog it later or some shit. In any case, I couldn’t dress like a kid when I was a kid and now that I’m an adult I’m expected to look like “an adult” WTFever that is supposed to be.. BLAH! I’m me, screw it.

“Anxiety is love’s greatest killer. It makes others feel as you might when a drowning man holds on to you. You want to save him, but you know he will strangle you with his panic.” ~Anais Nin

I swear, 90% of the internet is made up of cats, bacon, and bad puns (often at the same time) and the other 10% is comprised of flame wars about religion, politics, and weird tentacle porn (also often at the same time) –and then there’s Facebook *le sigh* a whole other ballpark altogether…

After a rather distraught argument with some guy I don’t even know and an interjection from someone I once respected..

Lest we forget, the 99% is not all about “Occupy” and it’s not all about tents in parks. There are people who would like nothing more than to “occupy” a job, many are already occupying a job, or multiple jobs. Many have lost their homes, their children, some have lost the lives of their loved ones and many have died because of the lack of health care, unnecessary rising costs of education and the mortgage scams, corporate greed and absolute lack of any sort of safety net. [...] ….and *that* is why I try not to have sociopolitical discussions with friends/family in public, ignorance is rampant and disrespect is the norm. If presented with a logical argument, one should always look at the supporting material presented before calling out the opinion and one should never argue they weren’t being personal in their argument when they directly quote the words of the argument which they just slammed.

I always fucking hate December though:

My Day So Far: It’s been an all around weird day. I was up late taking care of some things, I was up too early taking care of other things, I napped then had a horrible dream which put me on edge all day and then someone was very abrupt with me (multiple times) for no discernible reason. By the end of it I was standing all alone in the middle of the mall, fighting back tears and wondering where it all went to shit. I’m heading out with Tommy in a bit (even though I’m fucking exhausted) and I’m going to try to not think about all the dumb shit that nobody cares about anyhow.. If anyone wants me; you know where to find me. Text it if you wanna connect or inbox me if you don’t have my number..

I stole this from facebook but it absolutely fits here too:

*stolen but absolutely apt* “You might get offended with some of the stuff I post (cry babies). So, I wanted to take this time to say if there is anything on my wall (my business) that offends you (get over it) please bring it to my attention (don’t bother) and I will delete it (don’t hold your breath) immediately (not). The last thing I want to do (is freely express myself) is to cause harm to anyone (attention mongers) by what I say (because your opinion is the only one that matters). Have a bright and blessed (blow it out your ass) day in each and every way!!”

There’s some Walmart bathroom “klassy” for y’all. I had to get the holiday shopping done, it was a chaotic fucking madhouse.

Just tried to make a pentagram out of samosas but I wasn’t hungry enough for Earth and Fire so I’m gonna just eat a spicy pentagon instead..

…and the rest of December went as follows:
Somehow I got through my hate-on for the seasonal christers, I got past my disgust for the commercial aspects altogether, I got the tree up, got the kids gifts, got my ass over to Neath and FunnyGirlSJ’s place, had dinner, came home, thanked all of my Gods that it was over again for another year.

I’ll work on some sort of post between now and Sunday to reflect on the past year and figure out what I’ve taken from it, if anything. I know it’s been the hardest, most depressing, longest and yet strangely shortest year, in all of my memory. I love it, I hated it, I’ve never felt so absolutely alone yet surrounded by well meaning folks in my entire existence.

II”m tired now, I’m going to go have a coffee and contemplate. Thanks for reading.

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