Tragic's Wake

This week has been odd in that I’ve been surrounded by chaos but not directly hit by chaos unless you count the worst menses attack in the history of history which I suffer every month anyhow. I think it all goes back to the dream I had or rather what it came from. Certain realizations dawned on me and I understood that changes needed to be made. It lifted my spirits and gave me a bit of hope. I’ve been stuck in a bit of a rut as you know, I’ve had no real direction to speak of and though this isn’t big–it’s most definitely a start. 

I used to say “You need to travel outside yourself in order to find yourself.” and “You are headed to the point from whence you came.” both ring true. I’m travelling outside what has been my “norm” for so long that it almost feels as though I’m moving away from myself but I’m also headed back to a place where I was more in control of who I am and what I do.

I can’t please everyone all the time, barely even some of the time, but I do know when I need to close doors and open windows instead. That’s the best thing that happened to me this week, a level of awareness that I haven’t had in years.

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