Tragic's Wake

This is Bob at 18 days post-op. He is my new friend. He is the reason I am alive. I like Bob, a lot. Bob is ugly. Bob can get pretty angry. Bob spits up a lot so he has to live in a bag. Bob means well though. Bob is my second wind. Bob is my hero ♥ Bob the bowel: thank you. Thank you so much. You’ve changed my whole life already, words just can’t say…

My surgeon actually did a remarkable job at keeping it all as clean and neat as she could. Bless her dear heart for making it tolerable to look at. I was terrified that there’d be angry ugly scars that would be painful to see in a mirror. This stuff though, I can totally deal. Why am I posting this so openly and honestly? Because it’s nothing to be ashamed of. It’s the reason I am alive and that’s how it is for hundreds of thousands of folks worldwide. To act as though this was dirty, offensive or shameful would be a great dishonour to all of the ostomates who are still with us because of Bob and his kind.

I’m experimenting with scarves and silks right now, to support the appliance and also to make it fit a bit better under my clothes. I’m not trying to hide the fact that I have this, I’m only trying to make sure it fits in with my wardrobe a bit better, the blah looking medical plastic is not overly stylish..

There are really nice bands and wraps available, and some gorgeous panties as well. I plan to order some in a bit, once my weight starts to level off again. If I order anything now it won’t fit in a month and I don’t want to invest much in fashion until I’m at a plateau that’s going to hold for a while. I’m only about 100lbs right now and my “normal” weight is about 125-30lbs.. I’m planning to go *here* to get the goods once I’m better balanced though (maybe anyhow, if I can work out an arrangement with staff, currently they only take credit cards and I don’t have/want one, ever ).. I also have to save up a few bucks, the hospital stay pretty much set all of my accounts at zero/nil for the time being. It’ll bounce back up soon enough though, at least we didn’t go into the red, we just touched down on that blank line where there was no give left either way..

So yeah, annnnyhow. That’s the story. There’s the goods. As soon as I’m a bit more emotionally stable; I’ll share what I can about The Bad Thing™ but for now, I’m really just not ready to talk about it openly.  So yeah, don’t get all stoma horny because I’m totally not planning to go all fetish with this shit, and I’m not planning on posting any more nekkid Bob pics, this is the first and only but if I get any cool fashion shit going on–you’ll be the first to see/know!

I’ve actually got shopping and banking to do tomorrow, first day ‘out’ since release day this past Sunday.. Wish me luck! It’s also the first time in years that I can actually have lunch while out without needing to jump right into a cab and rush home directly afterward to suffer in horrible agony. I’m eating full meals, I’m actually sleeping full nights. Even with post-op tenderness; I’m feeling less pain than I have in ten years.

I could really get used to this shit, eh?

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